Downtime: Thanks!

In the spirit of November and the Thanksgiving season, I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on the things I am thankful for, much like I do every holiday before sitting down and stuffing my face with 16 lbs. of turkey and all the fixings that go along with it. Of course, I’m thankful for my wife, my kids, my parents, my family, my friends, my employer, and all that stuff—this list is reserved for those little things that put a smile on my face…

• People who pull up to bank drive-thru windows and have everything already prepared, rather than asking for a pen, deposit slip, and some biscuits for their dog in the backseat

• TiVo

• People who reach the counter at McDonald’s knowing what they want to order, instead of staring at the menu that hasn’t changed for the past 45 years, still undecided between the Big Mac or Filet-o-Fish

• XM Home Ice Channel 204

• People who admit to watching television rather than saying “I don’t have time to watch TV,” or “there’s nothing good on except the BBC and Nova”

• The video game Neverwinter Nights 2 for the PC (yes, I’m a D&D nerd…)

• Cigar lounges where I can have a drink and smoke a fine CAO with my fellow aficionados

• Gamblers who don’t write down the numbers after every roulette spin because they think they’ve got the game all fi gured out

• Cherry Coke Zero

• People who don’t say my 8-year-old bulldog Daneyko has a face only a mother could love

• Curb Your Enthusiasm

• Knowing I’m not the last Maillard anymore, thanks to my three boys

• Brooke Burke

• Knowing that my friend Joe can put in a kitchen faucet better than me and basically do it while I stand behind him “supervising”

• The television show Monk not being nominated for an Emmy award (actually, has this happened yet?)

• Dame Judi Dench not being nominated for an Oscar (again, has this happened yet?)

• Not getting ridiculed by my teen opponents on Xbox Live after getting a chainsaw bayonet to the head in Gears of War

• The brand-spanking-new Prudential Center (“The Rock”) in Newark, NJ

• Valet parking

• The Slingbox, if I traveled as much as a sales associate

• Paris Hilton’s jail sentence and further ridicule on David Letterman

• Father’s Day

• A steak au poivre, preferably a New York Strip, bigger than my head

• The fact that nobody seems to hold it against Matthew McConaughey for being arrested after smoking pot and playing the bongos naked in his house

• Actor Matt Damon’s hilarious impression of McConaughey

• Kevin Spacey’s impression of Christopher Walken trying out for the part of Han Solo in Star Wars

• ING’s Electric Orange checking account

• The day (hopefully in the not-too-distant future) when the war over high-definition DVD formats will finally be over

• The dying battery of a BlackBerry

• A waiter/waitress/customer service representative/etc who doesn’t act like it’s my fault he or she has to work a weekend shift

• The smell of a charcoal grill

• Being able to use my screaming infants as a quick way to get seated at a restaurant, convince a telemarketer to get off the phone, or leave a function/event early

• Foot massages

• 4-year-old soccer players who look at their coach with the same puzzled reaction as me when he is instructing them on how to “pivot” off the ball and “react” to the play

• Even though he’s a die-hard Boston fan, The Sports Guy, Bill Simmons

• Silence after 8:30PM